until i get over you

Hmph, love the lyrics.suits perfectly.haha.

Christina Milian's "Until I Get Over You"

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I'm with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name

[Chorus]
The sun won't shine since you went away
Seems like the rain's falling every day
There's just one heart, where there once was two
But that's the way it's gotta be,
'til I get over you

[Verse 2]
Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can't escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

[Bridge]
When will this river of tears stop fallin'
Where can I run so I won't feel alone
Can't walk away when the pain keeps callin'
I've just gotta take it from here on my own
But it's so hard to let go

silence of the day

Of the days since i arrived, it's the only day where i don't have any activity, aka bored to death. It is good in a way that i get to reflect on a lot of things that have happened since this year started. And i found it a bit uncomfortable that i've actually been smiling just for the sake of smiling.
It looks good on camera, it looks good to other people, it helps to fit in with the rest, and supposedly it helps to convey happiness. I couldn't remember the last time i lived in such a gloomy world, but it seems that happiness has been a rare commodity, the price set so high there are only certain circumstances a few people can afford it.
Why is it that the price is soaring high?
Is it cos i have had a very hard, tiring, gloomy, empty life for the first half of the year such that i've regarded happiness as an alien word to me?I dont know either.
Even in the midst of nostalgic class outing, the super fun gathering of my new indon gang, the frequent coming across of my medanese friends, i feel lonely. I sit down in that darkest, crooked corner of my mind, and i let my imagination spread its wings. I smoke, i drink, i shower in the rain. I screw this life, i throw my life.
While life has so many meanings waiting to be found and to be fought for, I, unconsiously or not, stop searching and stop fighting for them. I float, going through routines of the days like a dying lotus in the winter. Probably, the lotus wants its already hollow life to end?
I dont think this is solely because of an aftereffect of that one special person, it's just a complex entity that results in this state. But i dont need someone to save me. I dont need a hero.

-but i guess i will constantly live well, you have already left far away, i will also slowly walk away.
I really do not have the talent to, wont become silent this fast. But i will force myself to leave,i will learn to give you up, because i love you too much-

the 4th, the 8th, the 06th, the 1136pm

Today was an anniversary
Probably, it will never be one anymore for the rest of my life
Today is a very important day for me
Most likely, it is a very important day only for me
Today, I let the dogtag dangled on my neck
Definitely, only me
Crucified and in extreme pain. Numb has it become, and all i could do is to lie still here, with a hole on the left chest.

But let today be the last day.. She will remain someone special that I vow I will remember for the rest of my life. And I will protect the memories I had of her with everything I got. But let today be the last day.. I hope she will always have someone who knows how to treat her perfectly the way she deserves it. I hope she always has someone there to make her smile, though I can’t be there to see the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen on Earth. But let today be the last day, of me hoping that I will ever have that privilege again. Let today be the last day, that I say I love you, Tasya, my princess, my babi jelek bau ketek berbulu lebat.

"Goodbye My Lover"
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.