the birthday girl

Hey girl =)))
Happy birthday yea, hahaha, my first time I can’t be at the place to wish you ‘happy birthday’ directly. Wish you all the best for everything in life, and of course, may all your wishes come true as well. Hehe, still remember your birthday 2 years ago? I bet you forgot already loh that I interrupted the dismas dance practice just to return the change money for the chalet. Hahaha, he was angry at me for interrupting only for such small matter =p
But if I didn’t do that, I would not have been able to whisper ‘happy birthday’ to you directly, hahaha, cos I had the Adi dance practice at different place mah. Oh well, last year was much more high profile than just whispering though. Hahaha, the cake in Ngee Ann Poly with all the western dancers singing the birthday song, and of course, they were shouting ‘HUG HUG HUG!!!’ afterwards!!hahahaha, I had to hug you ‘forcefully’ in order to please the crowd, don’t want to disappoint those who were all eagerly waiting for the moment mah, consider it as the present they get for singing the song =p
Sadly this year cannot even do anything, can only send an sms. Haih, I guess you don’t care also, cos I am no longer important also mah, hahaha. Anyway, wish you have a good day today hanging out with the colleagues, or either the boyfriend or the family. Hahahaha, have a nice and wonderful birthday celebration!!

My sanity is somewhat hanging on a thread, so I guess I’ll just jump off the thread and live in my insanity for a while then, for the insanity keeps your shadow around me, keeps my life peaceful, keeps my sleep beautiful, hahaha. I’ll let my insanity take control till I am strong enough to be sane. =p

An important lesson I learnt yesterday in church, I should note this down: write all the good things people do to you on a stone, they take ages to erode; write all the bad things people do to you on the sand by the seaside, it takes only one wave to wipe the writings away.

I should learn how to forgive even more than I do right now, hahaha..

Harlem Beat, Yuriko Nishiyama

Hmph, this is a very good inspiration i got from Harlem Beat, a japanese comic book i am reading, haha..
'you should be a strong man, you should not cry in the mornings, cos even if you cry, there will be no one who comes to help. you should not show your weak side, cos you'll be beaten before there is someone who comes and pities you. you may be lonely, but we all need a great courage to be able to live separated from our groups. now is the chance to train yourself, so be optimistic cos the chance only comes when we are suffering, and don't take this as something to be sorry about. and so, you will forget that you are lonely, and you will find the true meaning of living by yourself. and thus, you will be a true gentleman. you told me that you cry in the mornings cos you have nightmares, but that was not it. you cry because a human cannot stand living by himself. The true strength comes when you are determined to be strong for someone.'
The last sentence is a bit controversial though, isn't the whole context about being strong and being able to be independent?hahaha, nevertheless, it is still inspirational, worth remembering..

cinta ini membunuhku (D'Masiv)

When i breathe, my chest feels painful..I guess this means it is time to learn to let go of someone i've always treated as more important than me..
I should change my hairstyle so that i can brush the hair myself, not her..
I should change my specs for myself, not for her..
I should practise my guitar songs for myself, not for her...
I should work out for my 8 packs for myself, not for her..
I should dress up for myself, not for her..
I should use perfume for myself, not for her..
I should live this life for myself, not for her..

i die

30 th april. the day my heart dies...end of fairy tale story...