Happiness?

So I recently got out of a 8 month relationship with a crazy nutter who went all out drama on me.
Looking back at what happened, I still could not fathom why things happened that way and why they had to turn ugly that way. I tried my best to keep it peaceful; I tried my best to love her.

But sometimes, 2 souls are just not meant for each other. The amount of expectations, differences, mindsets, views of life: they are just a big blob of disjointed bubbles biding their time to burst.
I can't deny that I learnt a lot from this relationship. I realised what I need is not necessarily compatible with what i want. And that at this moment, I feel that what I want has better priorities than what I need. I am not sure if I got my priorities wrong, but I guess relationship is about finding someone who has that balance of what I want and need at the same time.

Now that it's been more than a month, I feel that I am at a point where I question many things in life due to my overwhelmingly free singlehood time. I must say, I enjoy the solace and the freedom to do the things I want. And yet, I feel inadequate. I feel utterly, annoyingly empty. It's as if I no longer know what makes me happy anymore. I used to have clear definition of what makes me happy and what makes me feel like I'm living the life I want. But now, it has come down to a struggle where I am contented if things don't turn out wrong. I am contented with mediocrity. And this drives me nuts.

The feeling of being emotionless at work, at life, is a vivid reality I am facing right now. The never ending questions of life: where is my future headed, how am I going to settle down, what do I really really want in life. And most importantly. the reasons behind pursuit of happiness. Throughout my entire life, I probably have not felt this way before. And as I dwell deeper into this adult life, it feels as if the questions of life are getting harder and harder to answer. It is full of puzzles and mysteries, and I have yet to find a way to solve it.

And I am not sure when I will be able to solve this. But I sure hope it comes sooner than later, because I am having difficulty staying afloat in this world.
And I also hope to learn to be more thankful to my parents and my brother. I hope to learn to be more thankful to my friends who stick by me through thick and thin. I hope I can ever find love again (or true love for that matter).
A straight road doesn't make a good driver eh.