haizzz

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. And I realized that I did not come to Singapore in the name of education. I came here because of a lot of things. Though those reasons are lost now. My IP friends are scattered all over the world and we barely have time to keep in touch with each other. My best friends are in NUS and we hardly have time to meet. My love life has long ended, and I know it‘s silly to come Singapore hoping for a hope. My passion for dance is never-ending. But I have to stop dancing in 2 months’ time. It makes me think, what is left of me here? What other reasons do I have to stay here when all those that I cherish are lost?

(To be continued..)

it's not the time to stop, but it's no longer a choice

Since last year, i've been slowly slumping to the lowest point of my life. And the judgment day came today. I knew I've screwed up my first year, poor results, poor health, poor discipline, poor time management, poor hygiene, poor self conscious, poor spirit, poor will to live. And today, i knew i can't dance any longer, because i'm on the verge of getting my scholarship terminated. If dance is gonna take so much of my time to the point that i can't study, i don't think i can manage both studies and dance at the current situation. i hate to choose between the two, but i have to. Now, i only have this coming two months to dance all i want. Dancetitude is gonna be my last time performing on a stage, under those flashlights. I'll miss performing to the audience, the feeling of joy, the feeling of happiness when audience is clapping for me. Even the feeling of standing on the stage itself is already fulfilling to me. I'm deeply upset i have no choice but to quit dancing after this. Probably if my results are godly in the second year, i'll consider juggling in the third year. But it will never be the same again. Come to think of it, one main reason i chose singapore is because of its dancing scene. Never expected i'll have to force myself to stop my passion in dancing. at least not so early.