My myth of cave

When i was 6 years old, i was trapped in a cave in the forest. I stayed there for a few years by eating mushrooms and drinking rain water. Life is so wonderful back there..I have small squirrels playing with me everyday, each respecting our own existence and rights..I could have decided not to come out a few years later, when i was saved by a stranger..But i didnt..and i guessed i made a wrong, super wrong decision..I'm not used to the environment anymore..People became beast, hunting each other down, finding flaws and feed on them ferociously..They lost their consciousness for money, pride, status, etc..but i cant do anything about it..Sometimes i fell like killing myself, hoping to be born to a world similar to the cave i've left..Sometimes i feel like running away and never think of these ridiculous things..But in the end, i always ended up thinking even more and more..Life is beautiful or painful, i dont know and will never know the truth..