a picture, a moment

I recently reflect upon the life of a person in general. And i conclude that probably, the years of education is the most interesting part of one's life. Each cycle, whether it be kindergarten, primary, junior high, senior high or university life, there are always new friends coming in and out, new materials to be studied, new environment to socialize. It is never boring, it will never be. Because what comes after that, is 20, 30, 40 years of the same routine of working everyday without any 3 months break, any teacher's day celebration, any outdoor camps.

Life for the first 20 years will probably be the best out of all the years one will go through in his life. And there will always be a time, where he hopes that he stop growing, where he hopes that he can be captured in a dimensionless space, and continue 'living' without actually living. And indeed, there is a specific moment worth living forever in. If only life could be captured in a piece of drawing, then that drawing would have been a masterpiece, the most beautiful picture a man can ever draw. It is as if he wants to live in that moment, in that drawing forever. Because he knew very well that he would never be happier than he was then. But evidently, that is not how reality is. And the fact that he was the one that gave up that moment, made him hate himself so much, that he will never ever forgive himself. Even so, he managed to draw a potrayal of that moment. And when he stares at that potrayal, the hands of the clock buried inside his soul come to a halt. Time outside, of course, flows on as always, but he isn't affected by it. For him, what is considered as normal time becomes essentially meaningless to him. And so, he may go through life just like a normal person. But when he sleeps, when he remembers that potrayal, he always comes back to that moment, the moment where 'happily ever after' is still a possibility. And there is nothing other than the pictorial life he lead that teaches him happiness.

Probably that picture will remain forever. Hopefully. But it will always be a potrayal, nothing more. That moment, no matter how much he wants it back, he knows it will never come back. That moment is now forever lost in time and space. There is no way to unlock it unless time betrays itself, stabs itself on its heart and turn its hands anticlockwise.

But for now, happiness is just a story.