it's my fault

Today is maybe my first esplanade trip this year, and it feels great to go there!!The malay drama Sidang Burung is probably the best malay drama i've ever witnessed; professional and philosophical, each costume symbolizes something, each line of action symbolizes another thing, and even better, a path symbolized as a person..I didnt expect such great beauty in the play, hahaha..Art is very interesting i wish i have the capabilities to spend without thinking, then i would've bought all the tickets for dans festival, any plays i'm interested in, any concerts i would love to go. Sadly it's not that way. Sadly, i can't get to enjoy the breeze by the bay more often.
Anyway, i met a ghost today. I was shocked cos it was unexpected. And I havent seen her for more than half a year, so it took me a while to recognise her. But she didnt look at me also, so i guess it's fair for me not to greet her. Not that i'm trying to be cold, it's just my usual cold. But the super loud 'i didn't see!!!' was super duper ultimate unglam!!!hahaha, as expected from the ghost. =p
But seriously, i dont choose to come on friday for no reason. I chose to go on friday cos i thought most likely they'll be going on saturday, so why not avoid seeing ghost when my point of coming here is to enjoy art?hahaha, come to think of it, i never really know the reason. prediction of my a level result, the need to want to be alone, prediction of where i would be in the future, my sister, christin, parental pressure, grandparental pressure. there were so many things that happened at the same time, and i was too noob to understand what long distance is, too blunt that i concluded the gloomy future myself. but i'm not gonna blame it on anyone. and i know i'll never ever ever forgive myself for this.